Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter

Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter

Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter

Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter.



Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter.

Kirby Delauter
Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter.

KD*


Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter.

  • Kirby Delauter
  • Kirby Delauter
  • Kirby Delauter
  • Kirby Delauter
  • Kirby Delauter
  • Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter
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Friday, November 7, 2014

In Depth: My Life With the PS Gang

In Depth: My Life With the PS Gang

PS Gang member EeeTee Stabber


As many of you have already learned, Minneapolis Mayor Betsy Hodges is a shotcaller in a Northside street gang.  I knew this long ago, as I had been investigating this gang deep undercover.  The heat got too much after KSTP's Jay Kolls dropped his story, so I decided to get out.  However, I learned much during my time with the PS Gang, and it's time their story is told as a cautionary tale.

The PS Gang may be the only street gang in America that is run by and consists primarily of women.  It has its roots in the Minnesota Correctional Facility in Shakopee, the only women's prison in Minnesota.  The Pointer Sisters were formed by June and Bonnie Pointer, wanting to unite a fractured group of women who had been exploited by their previous gangs.  Wanting a symbol that was ubiquitous but meaningful, they developed their now infamous "Gangsta Point."

Pointer Sisters recruiting member with the "Gangsta Point"

After getting out, these women did not want to rejoin their previous gangs in which they were commonly beaten and raped, so the Pointer Sisters founded what would be known as the PS Gang, or the Posse.

After seeing a few years of quick growth, men were allowed to join the gang, though the gang would always be matriarchal in practice.
The first male member, Bo-Ty Sikopath


In 2012, wanting to get a deeper look at the gang, I began making myself familiar to local members, slowly earning their trust.  I was asked to do horrible things to prove my loyalty, but it was all worth it for the story.  The story always comes first, before personal safety, ethics, or the truth.


My gangsta selfie

After about a year, I was accepted on a probationary status, during which period I began to really understand the hidden workings of the gang:

A Gangsta Point implement used at sporting events
  • There is another version of the Gangsta Point used in more public settings.  Simply tuck the thumb in and point upwards, sending the message "We're" number one.  In Murder."

Young male gangster Screamface Killa
  • The age of members continually gets younger.  Currently, members are as young as 4, and often as young as 6.
PS Gang tag
  • Graffiti is used to mark turf and claim territory held by other gangs.  Sometimes arrows are used in lieu of pointing.
Shot caller MayMay Betsy
  • As is now public knowledge, Minneapolis Mayor Betsy Hodges is a PS Gang shotcaller.
When questioned about the news of her gang affiliation, Mayor Hodges said, "Talking head gonna put you on your deathbed.  Just cause you got a gat, that's just why you acting brave.  Got a gat I got a glock, whatcha gonna do?  Handle your business, don't let your business handle you."

Truer words never spoken.






Tuesday, November 4, 2014

BREAKING: FOXNEWS Calls Elections Results for 2016

BREAKING: FOXNEWS Calls Elections Results for 2016


WASHINGTON, D.C.-525,994 minutes before polls close on the East Coat for the 2016 Presidential Election, FOXNEWS has declared Jeb Bush to be the next president.  "Let's get one thing straight right from the get-go: We would rather be first in reporting returns than be right," said host Bill O'Reilly.  "If we say somebody's carried the state, you can take that to the bank, unless we find out a half hour later that we guessed wrong."

Minutes later, CNN, Associated Press, MSNBC, and CBS published the results, citing the original announcement as a source.  "These models, based on sampling precincts, have served us well through all elections," said CBS reporter Jeff Glor.

As of this writing, 0.000000001% precincts have reported.

Monday, November 3, 2014

6 Reasons Minneapolis Needs a Burrito Pipeline

6 Reasons Minneapolis Needs a Burrito Pipeline


A Galveston County Burrito Serviceworker attending the burrito tubes


1. There are still restaurants in Minneapolis that don't have burritos on the menu

Customers at Rainbow Chinese have no access to fresh burritos
While having access to fresh potable burritos is indicative of living in a developed country, there are still areas in Minneapolis in which restaurants do not offer them.  Lack of access to clean burritos kills children at a rate equivalent of a jumbo jet crashing every hour.  A Burrito Pipeline would contribute to a burrito-sustainable society and reduce child mortality to zero.

2. A Burrito Pipeline would stabilize the economy

Workers at the Prague Burrito Foundry
With growing unemployment and people who have given up finding work, the absence of a Burrito Pipeline industry is criminal.  The establishment of Burrito Pipeline infrastructure would create upwards of 82 thousand jobs, including Tortilla Technicians, Salsa Engineers, Chorizo Account Managers, Comptrollers, and Cheese Analysts.  The flood of businesses that follow the burrito flow will put Minneapolis on the map and make it a tourist destination by 2020.


3. Burritos have not been linked to Ebola

A neonatal burrito clinic in Portland, Maine

If you are against a state-of-the-art Burrito Pipeline, you are literally spreading Ebola.

4. The world will be united through burritos

Pyongyang's Glorious Korean General Burrito Line
Think about it.  Why expend resources on costly, deadly, bothersome wars when you have burritos?  The bloody Mexican Revolution ended in 1920 after the invention of the burrito by Juan Méndez' donkey, and there has been zero bloodshed in Mexico since.  The peace mongering effects of burritos have been realized by the United Nations by the creation of the International Burrito Fund (IBF).  We can all agree that burritos create a better humanity.  A Burrito Pipeline would be a peace pipe.


5. Burrito make you strong like bull

Bro, do you even lift?

Lol bro, I'm a Certified Burrito Expert, have abs at 6'4" 240 lbs, worked as a bouncer, and I bench somewhere around 420 lbs.  I grew up on base and boxed since I was 8.  I've got the quickest hands I've ever seen in person from a non professional fighter, especially at my weight.  If my gf wants to talk chit I'll let her do it to a point before pulling her away.  If some guy gets in her face?  I'm either gonna do the responsible thing and get the bouncer or pick him up and slam his phucking neck into the concrete.

6. Burritos are love, burritos are life


A Wichita, Kansas couple before their burrito-themed wedding
Burritos are key to a healthy marriage.  Tell your spouse what is going in the burrito and, as a spouse, know when to simply eat your burrito.  Learning to really enjoy burritos with your partner is a skill that may require practice . There are many resources available like books, marriage education workshops, and online courses.  All these options can help couples learn how to eat burritos more effectively.  A Burrito Pipeline would be a valuable resource to families all over.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Changes ahead for Park and Portland Avenues

Originally published in Twin Cities Daily Planet.

Changes ahead for Park and Portland Avenues

Rendering of potential Park and Portland Avenues (Rendering by Brendon Slotterback)

Hennepin County will be repaving and restriping Park and Portland Avenues this September. Cycling advocates and residents hope for more than just a touch-up.

Park and Portland have been recognized as dangerous roads for some time now.  They have speed limits of 35mph, though the stoplights are timed to 38mph, and cars regularly travel at 45mph or more.  The bike lanes are on the left, leaving cyclists inches from the fast lane.  In May of 2009, cyclist Dennis Dumm was killed by a left-turning semitrailer.  The ghostbike remains at the site of the collision.  In December of 2011, Louise M. Laugen was struck and killed crossing Park Avenue at 27th Street.


Park and Portland have a very long history.  In the 19th Century, the roads were constructed in an opulent fashion with huge boulevards to have the grandeur of set-back housing.  The elite of Minneapolis, many of whom made their fortunes in the milling industry, commissioned architects to build mansions along the “Golden Mile” between 18th and 28th Streets.  Further south, upper-middle class families lived in more modest yet still striking architect-designed residences.

Park and Portland were 36-feet-wide two-way roads.  The conventional vehicle at this time was the horse-drawn carriage.  Horse ownership comes with significant costs, as you must feed and groom the horse, or more than likely employ an ostler.  Given the harsh nature of winters in Minneapolis, walking could only take you so far, so only the wealthy could afford to live far from the urban core.
At the end of the 19th Century, the safety bicycle, as opposed to the dangerous penny-farthing, surged in popularity.  The Flour City Cycling Club was founded at 1611 Park Avenue and held annual races on Park and Portland Avenue.

After World War II, the suburbs were booming in population growth, Richfield in particular, which tripled in size. To accommodate this growth, Park and Portland were changed to handle suburban commuters. They were converted to one-way roads, and in 1955, the boulevards were removed to add an extra lane. The conversion of Park and Portland to “urban highways” caused many of the elite to move to such places like Lake Minnetonka. The existing mansions became multiunit rental housing until many were tore down in the following decades under the guise of Urban Renewal.

After Interstate 35W was completed in 1967, the need for Park and Portland to serve as urban highways was greatly reduced. The traffic count is now at 13,000 vehicles daily, well below the need for three lanes. With the cycling resurgance in the 1980s through present, bike lanes were added to Park and Portland, though on the left side to avoid dooring.

Currently, Hennepin County at least plans on moving the bike lanes to the right side. Minneapolis Bicycle Coalition President Ethan Fawley also recommends removing one of the traffic lanes and using the space to create protected bike lanes, also known as cycletracks. These bike lanes are controversial due to their haphazard implementation on First Avenue downtown. Falwey is confident that the correct implementation of cycletracks would increase safety and ridership.

Fawley would also like the speed limit lowered to 30mph, but such a change he considers unlikely, as Park and Portland are managed by Hennepin County, and there’s more pushback by the county on reducing speed limits as opposed to the city. Another idea is to reclaim the large boulevards from the Golden Mile days and install planters or community gardens.

The advantage to focusing on Park and Portland at this time is that since there’s already a resurfacing project planned and budgeted, much of the cost is already covered.  What would need to be covered is the specific design of intersections and public outreach. However, the funds required are likely in the tens of thousands, which is small compared to the MN Department of Transportation budget which has a budget in the hundreds of millions.

Park Avenue resident and local historian Ryan Knoke sees the redesign of Park and Portland to be more livable as key to investing in the neighborhoods along Park and Portland. Knoke gives walking tours of Park Avenue with a focus on the historic architecture. Knoke, like many others, would prefer a return to two-way residential roads. “As more and more people are moving back into the inner city, this is an excellent opportunity for the City of Minneapolis to reevaluate the overall livability of Park and Portland from both residential and pedestrian- and bike-friendly perspectives.”

The Minneapolis Bicycle Coalition will engage the County, the City of Minneapolis, and neighborhood groups to encourage a reconfiguration of Park and Portland for the resurfacing in September. If a grand remodel is not in place, a start would be to use temporary paint and repaint in a year after additional time for study and outreach.

In a road that has seen more than one major redesign to adapt to a changing transportation reality, say many local residents, a redesign to a more complete street would be a welcome change.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Franklin Avenue looks at Complete Street redesign

Original published in the Twin Cities Daily Planet.

Franklin Avenue looks at Complete Street redesign

Franklin Avenue and Park Avenue.  Photo by Minneapolis Bicycle Coalition.
Franklin Avenue is getting a much needed makeover.  Part of the makeover: In the Minneapolis Bicycle Master Plan, Franklin has bike lanes for its entirety. From Dupont Avenue in Lowry Hill to Minnehaha Avenue in Seward, Franklin has been been targeted as a top priority for improvement by Bike Walk 2012 Street Solutions, which is administered by Transit for Livable Communities (TLC).  TLC administers the Nonmotorized Transportation Pilot Project for the Twin Cities, which has allocated $22 million for improvements to local infrastructure.

On Monday, May 7, a public meeting was held by TLC at Phillips Community Center to present ideas for improvement.  Presenters included TLC Bicycling and Walking Program Manager Steve Clark, Toole Design Group Senior Planner Tom Huber, CH2M Hill Planner Mary Gute, and CH2M Hill Traffic Engineer Nikki Farrington.  Also present were Minneapolis City Council Member Robert Lilligren, aides to Council Members Cam Gordon and Meg Tuthill, Hennepin County Commissioner Peter McLaughlin, Hennepin County Public Works Senior Transportation Engineer Bob Byers with the Bicycle Advisory Committee, Rose Ryan with Minneapolis Public Works, and President and CEO of Native American Community Development Institute (NACDI) Andy Hestness.  About 40 people were in attendance, and there were about twenty bikes parked at the west entrance.  After presentations, the meeting broke into small groups to discuss specific geographic areas.

Franklin has high volume in all modes of traffic: pedestrian, cyclist, public transit, and personal motor vehicles.  It also has low levels of service for cyclists and pedestrians, including extremely narrow sidewalks with impediments, inaccessible crossing buttons, non-ADA-compliant curb ramps, bus shelters blocking sightlines, bikes on the sidewalk, uncontrolled intersections, high speed and volume of motorized traffic, and steep hills. Particular trouble spots were identified as the Hiawatha underpass, the I-35W bridge, and Lyndale Avenue.

Hennepin County’s County Road Safety Plan measured crashes from 2005 to 2009.  Franklin had an expected crash rate of 5.6 per million miles travelled and an observed rate of 15/million.  Bicycle crashes were 31.8/10 million and pedestrian crashes were 12.11/10 million.  Tom Huber hopes to reduce the crash rate through “proven safety measures” such as Road Diets; Lane Diets; permanent enforcement; and improvements to signs, signals, and markings.  A study found that the standard Road Diet of converting a standard four-lane, two-way road to a two-lane with left turn lane road (TWLTL) decreased crashes by 44.2%.  The conversion also improves speed limit compliance, increases walking and biking, and increases overall safety.  Road Diets are most effective for roads with less than 20,000 vehicles per day. Present motor vehicle traffic on Franklin ranges from 6,300 to 19,500 per day, on various stretches of the street, with forecast increases to 7,200 to 21,500 in the future, according to the presentation made at the meeting.

After breaking into small groups, the groups presented to the whole.  The east group (Bloomington to Minnehaha) had a consensus to have bikelanes throughout with two motor vehicle lanes in between.  They desired the midblock pedestrian crossing envisioned by NACDI.  They also desired turn lanes.  The central group (Chicago to Bloomington) wished for pedestrian bumpouts to remain but had some concerns about whether slower traffic would increase opportunity for crime.  The west group (Dupont to Chicago) greatly desired the TWLTL conversion.  They wanted improvements to safety at the I-35W bridge, more bike space, and better ADA-compliant sidewalks. (In 2011, Minneapolis completed a makeover of Franklin Avenue from Riverside to the Mississippi River.)

The next steps include a feasibility report, feedback from a selected cross section, more detailed intersection planning, community input, meeting with agencies and neighborhood groups, and another public meeting after all of that.  Changes could be made next year.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Wellstone Bike Club empowers East African women in Minneapolis through cycling

Published in Twin Cities Daily Planet.




Yasmin and Deko of the Wellstone Bike Club. (Photos by Jeff Carlson, except for beach photo, which is by Mike Jones)

The air is brisk, but not exactly cold. The sky is infinite blue. I throw on my thin merino undershirt and think about sunglasses which I haven’t worn since I was a child due to the eternal presence of high-prescription eyeglasses. I’m heading down the oversized sidewalk known as the Hiawatha Avenue Trail to Roosevelt High School to meet the Wellstone Bike Club.

At the school, a door flies open to a mechanical shop with work tables, a couple dozen bicycles, wheels in varying states of assembly, boxes of parts, and tools (sold at cost by Sunrise Cyclery). There I meet Jeff Carlson, the club’s founder and leader. Jeff has long blond hair, and a face accustomed to smiling. He’s dressed informally in something that can get a little grease rubbed on without too much disaster. He enthusiastically shakes my hand a brings me into the shop as students trickle in.

The Wellstone Bike Club currently consists of East African teenage girls, most of whom did not grow up cycling. In the club, they learn how to ride a bicycle, learn how to do repairs, and learn how to explore Minneapolis in a safe and lawful manner by bicycle. They ride donated bikes and eventually get their own bike with helmet and U-lock when it’s clear they will be safe and comfortable riding.



Girls walk up to the bike pile, mostly Giant mountain bikes donated by the Midtown Greenway Coalition from an old program of theirs. They run out to the parking lot and ride in circles, giggling. Some boys on their way to soccer stop to chat with them and admire their bikes. One girl helps another adjust her helmet strap.



After a while, half of the girls leave to ride to Lake Hiawatha, and half stay to practice in the parking lot. The girls have a variety of riding styles, some keeping to the sidewalks wherever possible, some taking the quiet residential road as a veteran cyclist. We do our best to stay in one group in the short ride to the lake. The girls shout out cries of glee as they roll into the spring air. At the beach, the girls ditch the bikes and their shoes and run to wade in the still-very-cold water. I hesitate to join, but they ask me to take their picture, and the lighting won’t be right unless I get in.



After wading a bit, we get out, and I ask the girls about their experience with the Wellstone Bike Club. I was afriad they would be shy about answering questions, but the look of relief on their faces when they realize that they won’t be videotaped let me know that it wouldn’t be a problem. They spoke of cycling being a very gendered activity in Africa – that they were discouraged by men to learn. In the U.S., they observed the dominance of car culture, which was new to them, as walking was their primary means of transportation in Africa. They were excited to learn a human-powered form of transportation.

Nadivah described learning to bike two years back. First, she learned to balance in the Roosevelt parking lot. After a while, Jeff would give the bike a push as she learned to pedal. She said she fell a lot, but had a lot of fun, and in a week or so, she was cycling. Deko, who had just learned to bike, said she learned it in a day.

During the winter, the girls learned bike mechanics and repair. I asked if any of them were winter cyclists. None had made that commitment yet, and one girl, Yasmin, had yet to experience a Minnesota winter. In fact, she had been living in the Southwestern U.S. and was used to the heat of the dessert states. The girls assurred her that she was in for an experience come winter.

Last week, the Bike Club organized Bike to School Day. Catalyst donated t-shirts and U-locks to commuters. The Bike Club cheered in the commuters and chatted with them over refreshments. Though it was a cold and wet day, the enthusiasm to maintain bicycle commuting was very strong. Students will be logging their days that they commute by bike this spring and prizes will be given out. Also, teacher Scott Smedburg created a Baiku Poetry Contest: you guessed it, haikus about biking.

Eventually, we wrap up and head back to Roosevelt. There are girls still in the parking lot determined to gain self-sufficiency in bike riding. I watch as Medina learns to pedal and maintain balance and as fear melts away to pride and excitement.



If you would like to donate to the Wellstone Bike Club, please visit their website for Jeff’s contact information.