BREAKING: FOXNEWS Calls Elections Results for 2016
WASHINGTON, D.C.-525,994 minutes before polls close on the East Coat for the 2016 Presidential Election, FOXNEWS has declared Jeb Bush to be the next president. "Let's get one thing straight right from the get-go: We would rather be first in reporting returns than be right," said host Bill O'Reilly. "If we say somebody's carried the state, you can take that to the bank, unless we find out a half hour later that we guessed wrong."
Minutes later, CNN, Associated Press, MSNBC, and CBS published the results, citing the original announcement as a source. "These models, based on sampling precincts, have served us well through all elections," said CBS reporter Jeff Glor.
As of this writing, 0.000000001% precincts have reported.
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